Kentucky Derby Limericks
Kentucky Derby 150
May the force of the horse be with you on May fourth.
Martha Stewart commanded the jockeys did "Riders, Up!"
A very fortunate 75 degrees in Lexington, what with the threat of rain all day. Not sure what it was in Louisville, but similar. Kinda sweaty, probably. One of (many) reasons I'm so glad I'm not a man, bc they're expected to wear suit jackets and all. 156,000 people all in close proximity. All righty then.
One of the photoiest photo finishes of all time. At least three horses crossed the finish line at the same time. What on earth would they have done before technology was invented? Split the purse? Call for a do-over? Mystik Dan was declared the winner.
3 Mystik Dan
2 Sierra Leone
11 Forever Young
Kentucky Derby 149
Winner: Mage (rhymes with Sage)
It was a lovely 77 degrees at post time for a field of 18 horses. Part of the pomp and circumstance of the Kentucky Derby ceremonies includes the “Riders, up!” command. It’s the equine version of “Drivers, start your engines!” and it is the moment when the jockeys mount their horses. In 2023, the commander, so to speak, was Patrick Mahomes.
Run of show: celebrity mount command, bugler’s playing of Call to Post, playing/singing of “My Old Kentucky Home.”
Fun fact for Derby 149: Mage is owned by not one person or two or three, but 391 shareholders of a syndicate called Commonwealth. If you picked your top three horses by numbers, your 8-3-14 won the trifecta and paid over $980 (insert all exclamation marks).
8 Mage
3 Two Phil's (sic)
14 Angel of Empire
Kentucky Derby 148
Winner: Rich Strike
Talk about a payout. Rich Strike went off at 80:1 odds. Not the longest longshot in Kentucky Derby history (that belonged to Donerail in 1913, at 91:1), but the second longest. If you had put “$2 across on ___,” for a total bet of six bucks, you would have cashed in that tote ticket for a $267.20 payout. Not bad for a couple of minutes of excited stress?
Congrats to trainer Eric Reed, from Versailles, Kentucky, in Woodford County. Also in the money for this race: Epicenter in the place position and Zandar to show. Win, place, show. That’s how we say first, second, third in Kentucky. Well, in other horse racing places also.
Kentucky Derby 147
Winner: Medina Spirit*
It was a gorgeous day in the Bluegrass State (in Lexington, anyway), with sunshine and 76 degrees at Churchill Downs in Louisville. Bob Baffert won yet another Kentucky Derby, number seven. (If he had won with post position #11, I could’ve worked with that.)
* Medina Spirit was eventually disqualified, as was trainer Baffert. The equine DQ was announced posthumously, as Medina Spirit died in early December 2021. On Feb. 21, 2022, Mandaloun was named the winner of the 2021 Derby.
Kentucky Derby 146… but not yet.
The ‘20. Wow. One asterisk after another on every sports list.
Kentucky Derby 146
Winner: Authentic.
And he won on the first Saturday in September instead of May… in the weirdest year ever.
Kentucky Derby 145
Winner: *
*At first, Maximum Security won. So I used pink for the limerick background, in honor of the hot pink silks. Then there was an objection. So I just changed the color instead of the wording.
Kentucky Derby 145 was rainy, for the third year in a row, btw, and 59 degrees at the track in Louisville. While the race finished at... what time, would you say, 6:52 p.m.? (I didn't look at any sort of timing device), an inquiry took a reeeeally long time, so the winning reversal, the reversal winner, was made official at 7:17 p.m. with Country House replacing Maximum Security in the 2019 win position.
Kentucky Derby 145 (final)
Winner: Country House*
* Due to an inquiry and disqualification and all. This made for my first 1 and 1A entry from a poetry standpoint. So to speak.
Do you think everybody with a tote ticket for Maximum Security was craving a Blizzard or something after the DQ was announced?
Kentucky Derby 144
Winner: Justify
The 2018 Kentucky Derby was run in about three inches of rain at Churchill Downs, where it was 62 degrees that afternoon. All two- and four-legged participants and attendees were waterlogged.
Justify went off at 5-2, making him the odds-on favorite in the race. Trainer Bob Baffert won his fifth (5) Derby, jockey Mike Smith his second (2). Coincidence? No. There are no coincidences in horseracing, only manifestations of divine providence. Also, Mike Smith was 52 years old at the time. So, y’know, it was just meant to be.
Justify would go on to win the Preakness and Belmont, becoming the 13th winner of the Triple Crown of Thoroughbred Racing.
Kentucky Derby 143
Winner: Always Dreaming
The 2017 race was run in the cold Kentucky rain.
Kentucky Derby 142
Winner: Nyquist
It was around 80 degrees and the track was fast in 2016.
Kentucky Derby 141
Winner: American Pharoah
It really was gorgeous in 2015, with sunshine and 74-ish degrees. Perfection. American Pharoah was also perfection, on May 2, May 16 and June 6, making him the first Triple Crown winner in 37 years—a bunch of people’s lifetimes (my fourth time being around for this particular phenomenon). (Dude, it does not happen every 37 years, stop it.)