How I quit smoking
I don’t use the term "ex" or "former" but I’d probably answer to "nonsmoker." In no particular order, here are six things that helped me quit for good. I winged it (wung? wang? Rephrase: I had to wing it) in the beginning, and stumbled on these 6 tips and techniques within the first few days.
1. Don’t talk about it.
Oprah doesn’t run around saying, "Hey y’all, I’m not a smoker. Are you a smoker? Let’s talk about not smoking. What say we all have a big ole conversation about what we don’t do, ‘kay?" Nope. And actually, how much time do you spend thinking about all the things you don’t do or the bad habits you don’t have? And then talking about not doing them? So I decided to take that approach: Don’t talk about it. I made a conscious decision not to think about it either, which got easier as time went on.
2. I can have one tomorrow.
I left those final three or four packs on a counter for months. Probably eight or nine months, but not in a twisted temptation sort of way. At first I thought I’d have a big disposal ceremony or something to destroy them, and then I took on this no-talking-about-it philosophy, which segued into a no-ceremony, and there were a few days when I was afraid to throw the packs out because it would necessitate touching them, and then finally I settled on this: "I can have one tomorrow. If I want to. Not today, but tomorrow I can have one." Whew. What a relief that provided! I wasn’t afraid to touch anything, but I just left the things sitting there, knowing I could have one tomorrow. When the next day came around---ta-da---it was today. Hey, how ‘bout that? "OK, fine. I can still have one tomorrow. Just not today. Not today."
3. Do this weird thing with your mouth in public.
This was pure magic for me, but it sounds really, really silly. Stupid, even. Everyone I’ve told this to has given me the weirdest look. "You crazy. Crazier’n I thought, woman." But did I mention it works? Plus, it’s something you can do in public or riding in a car or whatever, and nobody will notice. OK, close your mouth so that your lips are touching, but nothing inside your mouth is touching anything. Your top teeth and bottom teeth have space between them---no touching. Your tongue is in a stationary position in the middle of your mouth, like it’s just existing in the air, not moving or touching anything. Feels weird, huh? I have no idea why this helped me stave off a craving, but it did.
4. Do this other weird thing with your mouth (but maybe not in public).
I’ve never had a baby, so I don’t have firsthand knowledge about Lamaze breathing techniques, but I have watched ALL THE TV so I’m pretty sure you breathe out a bunch of times really fast, like hee-hee ho-ho-ho. For this little technique, though, you do the opposite. Instead of focusing on the exhale, you slurp in a big inhale a few times in a row. Like the opposite of whistling. Suck, not blow.
5. Get to know your food triggers.
It’s probably going to be something you would never have guessed. Like, say, baby carrots (I know, what?) or anything savory with melted cheese on it but not shredded cheese. Or Mexican but not Italian, or Chinese food but not coffee. Who knows. It truly varies from person to person, and maybe from day to day, so having a go-to list comes in handy. Drinking cold water or hot tea can help. Brushing your teeth. Chewing gum, especially if you’ve gone out to eat with other people. Mealtimes really are the times that try your soul, so course-correct and keep trying.
6. Cravings happen.
It’s not your fault. Why does no one mention this? Or was I the only person in history who, when trying to quit earlier, thought, "I’m supposed to be better than this. I got a craving and that means I failed and so I might as well quit quitting because obviously I can’t do this thing." Um, no. I didn’t do anything wrong. Cravings happen. They’re simply going to happen. Not particularly avoidable, these things. It’s not our fault. It doesn’t mean failure. And it’s OK. (Not fun-and-happy OK, but regular-life OK.) Dealing with one craving at a time got shorter for me. What started off taking a lot of time and effort to deal with all the dealing (see #2, #3, #4) soon took minutes, and then a minute, and then seconds.
And now. You know all those pictures they use in the anti-smoking campaigns? The crumpled packs, the butts, the wispy plumes and billowing puffs in the ashtrays? Hahahahahahaha
Bless their hearts. I’m not about to show any photo temptations or throw any of those visuals in anybody’s face (see #1). Instead, what I love most about not doing this thing anymore is the clean. Instead of stinky stench I have clean clothes, clean car, clean hair, clean air.
A breath of fresh air. Clean air. Clear, clean, sweet-smelling air.